36 – Veer 04.07.2001

Veer was born on a beautiful summer’s afternoon with the bright and full moon of Guru Purnima shining over him that night – that innocent soul’s first night on Earth as my son. I had no idea of the date nor it’s significance when I’d downed the few tablespoonfuls of castor oil, nor would I probably have cared back then, just as when I was told that Jai was born on the 5^th day of the autumnal Navratri, it didn’t mean much. On that 4^th of July in 2001, I was hot, overdue and impatient, ready to finally hold my new baby in my arms.

With no pain relief or a midwife present, Veer made his way into the world, right there by the front door, on my favourite blanket, the Disney Lion King blanket with Simba on it, probably as he meant to go on, probably quite like myself, independent, curious, a wanderer, sensitive to his and the feelings of others, and drawn to the mysteries beyond convention.

After a brief cuddle from me, Veer was put straight into the arms of my younger sister-in-law who’d just gotten home from school. She walked through the front door and barely had a moment to kick off her shoes and drop her rucksack to the floor when the paramedic handed her a bundle of towels with her new nephew swaddled inside. I still remember the look of delighted shock on her face amongst all the action and commotion in the doorway.

Maanav had been running around in a tizzy gathering things for the paramedics and looking for the camcorder, which we’d bought to document the occasion. My father-in-law got home minutes later. It was certainly a novel way for everyone to meet the new baby.

The midwife arrived soon after and tended to me. Once we were given the all-clear to move, I walked back upstairs to my room, and got into bed, cuddled up with baby Veer ready to feed him and get to know him. We were both doing so well that neither of us had to go into hospital.

Jai was at his Montessori, about to be picked up. Curious to see his reaction, I couldn’t wait for him to meet his new baby brother. On the advice of a friend of mine, Maanav and I had bought a gift for Jai and kept it hidden from him. When he came upstairs to meet the baby for the first time, we gave him the gift, telling him it was from his new baby brother. It’s a great tip to help young siblings bond with a new baby and overcome feelings of abandonment and jealousy.

We never had to worry about any of these with Jai though. He was accepting and helpful from the get-go. The just-under-3-year-old Jai would help with bath time and nappy changing. He knew he was the big brother and had a lot to offer. We’d talked about this often when Veer had been in my tummy. Jai knew his duties: hand Mummy the nappies, and help choose the baby’s clothes etc. He performed them beautifully.

As we’d had plenty of practise the first time around, within six weeks, Veer was sleeping through the night and was well settled into his routine like the contented little baby that he was.

Everything felt like it was going really well. Until a couple of months later, I found myself waking up in a wheelchair in the Accident and Emergency department of the hospital, and crying, “My babies, my babies…”