Shh, It’s a Secret – Part 1

Once upon a time, there was a little girl.

This little girl had a big brother.  He was exactly one year older than the little girl.

And to the little girl, her big brother was the bestest brother in the world. He was, in fact, the bee’s knees.

The little girl loved her brother so much that she had a haircut just like his. And forget dresses and skirts, she was having none of that. No, siree. This little girl wore t-shirts and shorts and the coolest neon shell suits (hey, it was the 80s) matching her brother’s.

And she wanted to do everything he did.

And she did.

The little girl and her brother played with trucks and cars and rode around on their bikes together. They played snooker, football, darts, rounders, and cricket. And they played lots of fun games and watched kung fu movies with all their friends in the neighbourhood.

The little girl and her brother went to school together, came home together and ate their dinner together, and sometimes they’d chatter and giggle into the night while her brother hung upside down from the top of the bunkbed and made funny faces down at her.

The little girl and her brother didn’t have any other brothers or sisters, and so, they were the bestest of best friends.

That all started to change, though, when, one day, a big bad man appeared on the scene.

This big bad man did some very bad things in secret to the little girl and her brother. It made the little girl’s brother very confused and very upset.

The little girl’s mummy and daddy were also quite upset with each other most of the time, and sometimes the little girl’s daddy would hit her and her mummy. This made the little girl sad. It made everyone in the family sad.

By and by, the little girl’s brother became angry. He became angry, but not in the way that one might expect.

The little girl’s brother became angry in a quiet way.

The little girl’s brother didn’t want to spend time with the little girl anymore. The games and movies stopped. The fun and laughter stopped. The little girl didn’t understand why. The little girl was too little. She didn’t understand that her brother was hurting. She just thought her brother didn’t love her anymore.

When the little girl’s brother was old enough to go off to big school, he got new friends and the little girl didn’t know any of them.

And when the little girl arrived at big school one year later, her brother’s friends would laugh and point at her, and they would call her some very bad names. Her brother stood with his friends and it made the little girl very sad indeed.

She barely saw her brother after that. He was busy with his friends, and she moved on with her life.

When the little girl and her brother were grown-ups, the little girl would see other brothers and sisters smiling and helping each other with all sorts of things. When she saw this, it made her heart swell with joy, but she also wondered why she didn’t have that kind of relationship with her brother.

Trying to get through life alone was difficult for the little girl. Her big brother never ever called her to ask her how she was doing. He only visited her if there was a special occasion or if he came along with their mummy and daddy for a visit. They had never had a casual chat on the phone or had a meal together as grown-up siblings.

The few times the little girl had tried to interact with her brother, he would call her bad names, the kind of names that the boys in big school called her, and he would be angry at the little girl.

Once, when the little girl had gone to stay at her mummy and daddy’s house where her brother lived, he got very angry and hurt the little girl just like the little girl’s father used to hurt her. The little girl knew that violence was wrong and that little girls had to protect themselves from big angry boys, and so, the little girl called the police just as she had been taught to in school.

The little girl’s daddy had been hurting her and her mummy for years. And when the little girl had plucked up the courage to call the police on him, the violence finally stopped.

The little girl didn’t want her brother to become like her daddy, so the first time he hurt her like that, she called the police to stop him and make sure it never happened again.

What happened after that, though, the little girl could not have predicted.

The little girl’s brother blamed the little girl for everything. Everyone turned against the little girl, including her mummy and daddy and other people in their family.

The little girl was more alone than ever now. For many years, she drifted from town to town, even from country to country, looking for a safe place to call home where nobody would try to hurt her again.

Then, one day, the little girl got a call from home. Her brother was very unwell. They didn’t know what was wrong with him or what to do.

Continues in Part 2

May we all find healing and the courage to live a truthful life. It might be scary in the beginning, but there is freedom in truth like no other.

Thank You, Swami ji, for guiding me to write and to keep overcoming my fears and self-doubt. 

My only prayer from Merry Monk, and especially this mini-series, is that someone, even just one person, finds the courage to speak the truth and experiences the same healing and freedom that comes with it. 

Wishing everyone a blessed Guru Purnima! Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼🧡