As a teenage woman growing up in liberal London in the 90s, and as an avid watcher of the hit TV shows of that era like Sex and the City and Friends, I was able to observe many types of male-female relationships. As my eyes were opened, my cultural narrative of gender stereotypes, which came from being the daughter of an Indian household, was blown to smithereens.
When I embarked on the journey of life outside of the home I’d grown up in (if you’ve read my series Confessions of a Merry Monk, you will know that I moved out of my parents’ home at sixteen), I decided that I was going to be independent. I was going to live life on my own terms.
But now I think back, I realise that I never really was independent. I was still tethered to my basic conditioning; that I needed a man in my life to complete me. One to rely on. One to make me feel safe and protected, to be my stability and security, whether that be a father, a brother, a spouse or any other prominent male authority figure in my life. It’s funny, the thought never crossed my mind that I could go it alone, that I didn’t need a man to do anything for me.
Most of the men I encountered (except for the rare few gems) I allowed to objectify me. I let them make me believe I was incapable and worthless. The man played the role of my saviour whom I worshipped. All went well only if I conformed, if I didn’t voice an opinion or stand up for myself. Perhaps I was at fault for putting them on a pedestal. Being completely open-hearted and vulnerable, I showered them with love, gratitude and praise. I guess it was only natural then for them to not see me as an equal, but feel superior to me and preach to me. And some not just to me, but to other women too.
A bachelor, who has his cooking and cleaning needs taken care of, has no idea of the vast responsibility and limited time available for a working woman with children, or an unwell or elderly relative to take care of, for example. He doesn’t need to grocery shop and rustle up three meals a day, or draw up next week’s kids’ activity schedule, remember which bins to roll out on which days or deal with the mountain of laundry in the basket, let alone the individual physical and emotional wants and needs of the family members.
I saw, in most Indian households, the men treated the women like servants. Rarely a please or a thank you. If they needed a spoon, for example, instead of getting up and reaching over to the cutlery drawer themselves, or even asking politely, I have seen some men not even look up from their meal and say, “Give me a spoon.” No please or thank you. And the woman, who is already tending to a hundred things in her mind, plus rolling and cooking fresh chapattis for them, acquiesces without a second thought.
If that person did the same for her regularly, or even occasionally, I’d get it. If he cooked sometimes too, or helped to clean up afterwards, okay fine. But could he at least remember that a please and thank you never go to waste? Could he at least pick up his plate from the table once in a while?
Why is it the norm for so many men to be waited on hand and foot. And that too, by women who have jobs, who work all day, and take care of a house and other people dependent on them.
You’d think that washing my face of all the makeup, wearing plain white clothes and shaving my head might mean I have announced my independence to the world, and the way I would be treated by men would completely change? That I wouldn’t be objectified, shackled or preached at anymore by men, least of all men on the spiritual path? Guess again.
I have to make it very clear here, I am talking about the type of man who is nothing like my guru, Om Swami ji. Swami ji has never commented about my appearance, has never made me feel objectified. He has never tried to clip my wings. In fact, he gave me a new pair where I had lost mine. Swami ji has never once preached to me how I should live my life. I have never heard Him gossip, belittle, or force an opinion on anyone. That is simply not His way. Swami ji works quietly and lets the results show for themselves. When women pay obeisance to Him, He gives a quiet blessing and looks away. He leads by the shining example of His exemplary conduct, humility, and respect towards women.
The type of men I am talking about are still on the path. I know they revere Swami ji and are trying to reach His impeccable standards. It is not easy. As men and women on the spiritual path, we have only our interactions with each other to test ourselves and grow from.
Not long after my initiation in 2018, one morning, I was cleaning the communal sinks outside the ashram dining room, wearing a white saree, when a male devotee wished me a good morning and asked how I was doing.
I enthusiastically replied, “I’m great, wonderful, amazing.” I was in a very good mood thinking of Swami ji’s grace and how my life was turning around.
The devotee, while washing his hands at the sink smirked and said, “And sexy.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Because I knew this middle-aged man to be a respectable, long-time devotee who had a position of authority in one of our organisations, I didn’t have the courage then to put him in his place and tell him what he said was inappropriate. Instead, I nervously laughed it off, looked up to the sky and said out loud. “Swami ji, I hope you heard that.”
I stopped wearing sarees after that day.
Had it only been that one incident, I would have let it go. I always give someone the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise.
The same man had, some time earlier, put his hands on my shoulders from behind. I was kneeling or crouched on the temple floor cleaning something when he did this. No one else was around. Perhaps he meant it in a friendly way, but, for me, it was a jarring experience. I had been living alone and immersed in spiritual practices for a long while by then. I had not been touched by anyone for years. Not even a hug or a handshake. I greeted others with a hands folded Namaste. When he put his hands on me, I felt uncomfortable but I knew he didn’t realise this. I shrugged it off and didn’t say anything.
But then, after the sexy comment, I observed that I wasn’t the only one who was being made to feel uncomfortable. Other women spoke to me about their interactions with him too, but nobody wanted to say anything directly to him or report him. The same person was also asserting his authority over others in general in a way that was shocking to me.
I spent months in turmoil. I would cry in my room every day. How could this happen here? This is an ashram. This is the last place on earth where women should be made to feel objectified, in God’s own Home.
I’d been physically assaulted and sexually abused and harassed in the UK and when I lived in Mumbai (I’ll write about what happened in Mumbai in my Confessions series), and I still didn’t shed as many tears over all that as I did over this. I had allowed this man’s comment to derail me completely.
When I could take it no more, I reached out to my guru. I only said what happened to me, not to any of the other women as it wasn’t my place to and they had asked me not to. At once, Swami ji put me at ease. I didn’t even have to give Him the man’s name, Swami ji knows everything. He swiftly took care of the situation.
Did it end there though? It did not.
Such is the ego that when it gets a telling-off, it can either take it as a lesson and become humble or it can rear its head like a cobra.
After being pulled up for his behaviour and given a warning, that person took every opportunity to target me.
He tried to force me to stop taking care of and feeding the dogs at the ashram. He even sent a group email out calling me an offender for not following the rules about the dogs. I wasn’t even there when the new rules were put in place as I usually travel out of the ashram for a few months every year.
Teju, one of the dogs, was my best friend when I first arrived at the ashram in 2015. We were always around each other whenever I was there. If he was hungry, hurt or unwell, I would take care of him. Whenever I left for my travels, Teju always saw me off right to the car door, and upon my return, he would come bounding to the car from wherever he was to welcome me.
I was forced to not feed him or let him near my home. Nobody else seemed to be given warnings for the dogs. Only me.
The man got me kicked out of my service to the cows too, claiming it wasn’t safe for me to be with cows. This made no sense. Again, everyone else could go near them, only I was banned.
I tried to fight back in the first meeting about this. I begged them not to separate me from the cows. The cows were the source of so much love and joy for me.
I tried to tell another person in authority (another male unfortunately) that this was backlash for something. I tried to tell him that other women had also been made to feel uncomfortable by that man. I was asked for names but of course I wouldn’t give them as I couldn’t break the trust of the women who had asked me not to. There were three people in that meeting aside from me and that man. Two men and one woman. None of them believed me. I was shut down, kicked out of my service to the cows and made to feel like an angry, rebellious woman for no reason.
Almost a year later, I decided not to be afraid anymore and went back to work in the cow shed of my own accord.
If I tried to tell anyone about all this, I was made out to be a troublemaker. That man said all sorts about me. I felt I shouldn’t run to Swami ji to fix everything for me. But even if I had wanted to, they made it more and more difficult for me to get my message to Him. I had to learn to deal with this myself.
When a fellow devotee asked if I would help her tutor the local children for their upcoming exams, I jumped at the chance help out. But you can guess how that ended.
I did not however allow him to extinguish my spirit of service completely.
Nobody stopped me from continuing with my litter picking of the ashram grounds. Perhaps the man felt that this kind of service was befitting of me. I was happy though, at least I could do that. I loved it. I loved seeing Mother Divine’s Home free of litter and garbage. I would it do with the utmost mindfulness, either in silence and mentally chanting my mantra or with headphones on listening to devotional songs and singing and dancing along with them.
The last nail in the coffin though was that he made complaints about me singing kirtan and bhajans in the temple. In the end, I was banned from doing it at all.
Once, in a discourse, Swami ji had said that His only vision at the time of building the temple was that someone would play the dholak and someone would play the manjeera while singing devotional songs to God. I already played the manjeera and I loved singing so I bought a dholak and began to learn to play.
Two devotees – a professional singer and musician and a young lady with a lovely voice – and I decided to meet in the temple everyday from 3:30pm to 4:30pm when the temple was usually empty to practice music and singing. We learned devotional songs and we became quite good.
Once in a while, a visiting devotee would be present in the temple and would join in. They were also encouraged to sing if they wished to and dance along during the kirtans. Mostly though it was just us three in the temple.
Closer to the event days there were more visiting devotees at the ashram and they began to look forward to our daily bhajan and kirtan sessions. We didn’t mean it to, but it became a thing. When the temple was full of people, we had wonderful, joyful sessions of everyone singing the Lord’s names and dancing together in divine ecstasy. There were tears, smiles and bliss. I was so happy we could fulfill a wish for Swami ji. He does so much for us. I hoped we were making Him proud, singing for God and spreading so much joy to others. I would be on a spiritual high all day afterwards.
But of course, it caught the attention of that man.
And of course he did what he could to shut it down.
One day, in the middle of our singing to God, he took the microphone away from the lady singing with me and we had to end it.
Then the meetings started.
In these meetings, I was told that I was acting like someone higher than my stature, that I had no right to encourage a group of people to sing for God. I was told that if I wanted to sing, I could go down to the river and sing… alone.
Nobody else was banned from singing or playing instruments in the temple. They were free to continue.
Most of the conflict was during the Covid lockdowns so I couldn’t escape it. And over the years, I was reprimanded for all kinds of things, too many things to write here. Even my practice of maintaining silence was condemned and ridiculed.
Once, somebody had an accident and suffered an awful injury, I ran to this man for help as he was the nearest person. My thinking was that we would put any personal issues aside to help someone in an emergency. He refused to help me. He was drinking his tea.
I would assume other devotees were told all sorts of things about me because the way they treated me changed too. I noticed how distant some of them became. Some stopped interacting with me altogether. It was only recently that one of them told me some of the things that had been said about me.
In one of the meetings, my writing was attacked and I was told that the bad things that happened to me in my life were my own fault. I was told that if I didn’t comply with their orders that I could be stripped of my discipleship. I didn’t get angry, I simply said, that’s fine. Because, 1) Only Swami ji has the power to do that. And if I am not worthy of Him, He will do that, and I will respect His decision. And 2) Because I understood that the people in the meeting saying these things to me had been told a lot of negative things about me over the years by that man, and they, no doubt, believed him. I didn’t blame them for that. They thought they were doing what’s best for the ashram. I understood that. There was nothing I could say that would make them think otherwise.
The man never apologised for putting his hands on me, for calling me sexy, or for all the backlash. I’ve learned to never expect an apology from anyone. Whenever our paths crossed, he would either avoid eye contact or simply scowl at me. No matter how hard I tried to remain upbeat and professional (if you remember, I was also dealing with this and this at the same time), no matter how many times I forgave him in my heart and greeted him civilly, I was ignored or snubbed.
I feel sorry for him more than anything. The weight of holding on to that big of a grudge must be an awful feeling. I pray he can move on for his own sake. If he reached out to me, even now, with genuine remorse, I’d put it behind us in an instant. Life is too short for such petty drama.
As hard as it was, this experience has been my greatest gift. The most beautiful gift of strength that God could have given me. You see, my source is Ma Kali.
The Divine Mother, Ma Kali’s Love runs through every pore of my being. I have given my life to Her. As Swami ji has taught us, She is the Empress, independent of anyone else. She is compassion incarnate, but also the fiercest. Her fierceness showed me I had to stop being a victim. Ego isn’t only false pride and arrogance, I learned, it’s also that little voice of fear and the feeling of being victimised. Ma gives me the strength to keep my intentions pure but be absolutely fearless in the face of conflict and injustice now.
I wasted so much of my life allowing a man’s false authority over me to run amok in my mind. Life could have been so much sweeter had I learned to stand up for myself before it was too late.
I’m thankful that I have Swami ji in my corner, but I realise now, all these years, He was showing me how to muster up my own fighting spirit, teaching me how to fight these battles myself.
Monk or not, I am still a woman. And this world does not run in a woman’s favour.
I will probably be judged, mocked, ridiculed and objectified on a daily basis. If we know each other, and if you say or do something inappropriate, I will no longer be silent about it.
Please understand that what I eat, what I do and what I look like is no one else’s concern. I offer every thought and every breath to my guru, Om Swami ji and the Goddess (who to me are one and the same). If it’s good enough for Them, no one can take that away from me.
Not that I must justify myself, but I want to show you a glimpse of how I live my life:
I cook and clean up after myself. The meals I cook at home are healthy, so if I eat out I like to treat myself. I am 43, 5’6″, weigh less than 60 kilos, and have no underlying health conditions. I do yoga, I swim, I meditate, I chant, I dance, I sing. I’m learning to play musical instruments and speak new languages. I bare my heart and soul, writing my truth here to help others. I make a very modest living writing. I try to be kind and mindful every waking moment; I spend time supporting others who need help, mostly women, and families who are caring for serious mental health patients (with Swamiji’s Grace, some of them are doing really well now). I don’t have any bad habits except Netflixing out from time to time. I have overcome my past of extreme trauma, abuse, addiction and the grief of losing my children. I’m calmer than ever, I’m happier than ever. My life is no longer about me. I have finally reached a stage on the spiritual path where I can stay connected to the source and help others. When I meet with people, I listen. My mindset is, “What can I learn from you?” and “How can we make this moment more beautiful and connect deeper to The Divine.”
You can judge for yourself whether I need to be preached at. Heck, does anyone need to be preached at?
I have learned this world is full of people, even spiritual people, who will poke and prod you and then explode at you the moment you stand up for yourself. I’m prepared for the backlash now. It’s expected even. It will never derail me again. I only wish those people well and pray these experiences take them closer to the Divine in the end. Perhaps I have to be the medium for their growth just as they are the medium for mine. Neither role is easy but we can only be tested and grow when we are put in such situations.
As Swami ji says, an orange may look sweet from the outside, but it’s only when it’s squeezed that we know if it’s sweet or rancid on the inside. Unless we have people in our way to challenge us, how will we be squeezed? How will we know? Some go fizzy in a tizzy at the first squeeze and never recover. Some eat humble pie and wisely come back and continue to walk the path until the only juice to come out is as sweet as divine nectar.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been squeezed – countless – but I can tell you that each time it happens, I learn and grow a bit more.
We, women, can be humble and serve this world with a loving heart, but no man has the right to bully or objectify us.
I have every right to look you in the eye and say Stop.
Thank you to the men who have given me these tough lessons. Under Swami ji’s diligent watch, I have emerged stronger than ever. I finally understand what it means to be independent. I have learned that male-female relationships and interactions can be loving, respectful and kind given the right approach. Your father, brother, partner, spouse or best friend can be the best part of your life, but your self-respect and self-worth come from within you alone.
Oh, by the way, I’ve started wearing a saree again. I wear it with pride now. It is a symbol of my Indian identity, femininity and strength. I am proud to be a British-Indian woman, a monk and a disciple of the most truthful, respectful, kind, humble and powerful Om Swami ji.
Although this may not be my most humble post, I pray Swami ji keeps me on the path of truth, respect, kindness, humility and strength. I pray I continue to grow.
May we all.
With His Grace,
Sushree Diya
🧡
*Please may I ask that you be mindful in the comments. I appreciate your support and sentiment, but any inappropriate expression toward those mentioned in this post will be deleted. Thank you.*
**EDIT**
As of November 23rd, 2024, that man is no longer in a position of power at the ashram. I would assume he was given time and a chance to improve his behaviour but wasn’t able to. I wish him well on his spiritual journey and pray that he can see the same Mother Divine in all women and respect them accordingly.
My humble obeisance of gratitude at my guru Om Swami ji’s feet. Thank You, Swami ji for stepping up and never letting us down. I know if I remain, humble, patient and steadfast on my path of Sadhana, goodness will prevail. Thank You for all the wisdom and strength I have gained through these experiences 🙏🏼🙇🏻♀️
115 comments
Oh, here, you dropped this- 👑
Sushree ji, it’s so wonderful! 🤩🤩 I loved it! I have met men who made me do work for them thanklessly and absolutely loved how you stood up for yourself! W-O-W! This post doenst need to be humble because it’s not the need of the situation. I had a guide who was helping me through my preparations in exam… and he always broke his patience on me saying I am not “humble”. I wondered what I did wrong? I spoke to him nicely, I answered whenever was required. Later, much later I understood that he wanted boot-licking and ever quiet lady who would take in his scoldings and all. And worst thing is I realised it after he left my life. Anyway… I am meditating to forgive him and he showed me another way how stupid people can be and how i should be aware of this new knowledge and protect myself.
Love you so sooo much! 🌺
Those who are blinded will be offended by your post or even my comment. And those who devotees of Swamiji are always good!
Like Swamiji said once- mind your own business! (Perfect sentence for all)❣️❣️ Love you!🌺🌺
Pranams Sushree Ji. Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts. I feel so connected to you reading your posts and feel a beautiful bond with you . 💚 Totally agree with every word of your post. It is a very long battle against objectification and patriarchy for women, particularly in India. Mindset change is needed both for men and women to overcome their conditioning . Women are so conditioned to feel inferior, that subordination feels so normal.
Here is what happened in my case. I grew up in a household where from early childhood, girls are trained (and appreciated) to be submissive, quiet and totally obedient all the time. I grew up to believe that being a good girl means being submissive and always saying Yes. And because of this one starts to mask their true feelings. And after a point, you have lost touch with your feelings and you don’t know yourself anymore. You have lost your voice and have no opinion on anything. You have no mind of your own. It had become my nature to say yes to everything, and to avoid conflicts at all costs. I din’t know how to stand up for myself in the face of abuse. It is only after Swamiji’s divine presence in my life, that I am learning to break-free from these patterns of over-submissiveness.
Once again thank you for yet another transformational post.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Nature, call it God, Universe, Shrihari, – Its laws are unparalleled and undisputed. We all are governed by that one Universal Law. The person in question WILL HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES, for sure, of his actions, thoughts and words. Even if he is granted forgiveness by you. Either he has COMPLETELY SURRENDER IN FRONT OF SHRI HARI to get universal forgiveness, else none can escape the fruits of one’s deeds.
Yes, yes, yes. Harder the experience, more precious (अनमोल ) the gift sent by Lord🥰🥰🥰. Such experiences are feathers in our cap. These worldly guys are indeed helping us grow, grow and grow. More one suffers, stronger one become.
कान्हा जैसा pretend कर भला कोई कान्हा बना है कभी. Do you Remember that story in scriptures of one who forced his people तो call him कृष्णा!!!
No matter how close he feels he is to Swamiji, the Divine plays can never be understood by we worldly beings.
Hari bol 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Jai Sri Hari!🙏🏼❤️
Dearest Sushree ji, I am surprised to see such behaviour in “Vaikunda” (Ashram)! You have dealt, spoken and behaved in the best manner possible. Reminds me of Mother Teresa’s quote:
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people maybe jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today maybe forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa
Jai Sri Hari! 🙂
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
I’m glad you could learn so much from your negative experience. It is not easy on any woman specially when it happens in a place where you go to find positivity and peace. Thank you for being so open about such things and giving us inspiration to learn from you. May goddess kali goge you all the strength keep you away from any harm. Jai sri hari
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Dear Akka, I sometimes wonder why the world we inhabit objectify women. It is everywhere and unfortunately conditions the minds of people from a very young age. I realize how easily and naturally I had accepted it. After all in movies a hero falling for young , pretty and vulnerable women was so glamorized and so it had been with every other medium.
Your remarkable journey I have no doubt will continue to inspire and as swamiji would say make this world a more beautiful place. I feel it is truly a privilege for reading about your journey. It was during Sri Suktam Sadhana when I sincerely prayed mother goddess for some devotion in my baren heart that the last day I happened to come across and started following your post. The brilliance from your writings and fortitude of embracing Swamijis path has bestowed so much goodness and strength. We as your readers will be ever grateful and proud of you…
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
I totally agree how playing victim is the part of ego. So much to learn again from the post Diya ji but as usual I just feel so loved reading you or even thinking of you. You inspire me to heal and prioritize my life right. All Glories to Swamiji for guiding us always, quietly and subtly.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
I saw two cows at the Ashram’s cowshed, locking horns and play-fighting. I didn’t know it was true for other beings at the Ashram.
I was lucky enough to hear your kirtan. I was lucky enough to hear Rama nama and cry, swaying gently while my hairs stood up. I am deeply grateful for that privilege. I wanted to let go and cry my heart out, but I didn’t, because I felt shy, I didn’t want anyone else to see me in that state. Either way, I missed your kirtan the next time I went there. Lesson given.
Thank you so much for writing and letting us comment. Jai Sri Hari. May Bhagwan keep us all.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
May Swami ji and Maa Kali, protect you and be with you always . Jai Sri Hari ❤️ 🙏
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Jai Sri Hari Sushree Diya Ji,
Thank you for giving a voice to this problem. I went through a similar situation; I know precisely whom you are talking about. It is a shame that there is nothing much one can do due to his power chair.
Sending all my love and respect. 💖🙏
Dear Sona ji, I’m so sorry to hear this. I believe that the truth always prevails. It’s up to the Divine when the time is right. I leave it in His hands and just keep working on myself in the meantime. I hope you are alright, with His Grace. Om Swami ji ki Jai!
It’s horrible to hear that you have been through a similar experience with this man too ! Am so sorry to hear this. Please take care and raise your voice for Diya ji – tell your story openly – when the time comes because it is going to come soon. The man will not keep quiet. You are the only other person who has been through a similar experience with this person and you can add to her story – give her validity and strength with yours.
Jai Shree Hari.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Pranam Diya Ji, you continue to inspire, more so with everything you share. 🤗🤍 The message needed to be put across loud and clear and it is done. More power to you with Ma’s Grace and His. 🙏💮🍃
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
I don’t know if callling someone sexy is inappropriate or not * thinking emoji* but the other stuff was too much * red face emoji*. Di I was sexually (physically) harassed once and it was a homosexual man much bigger than me. So its not like i dont relate to you but ”devotees should be sensitive to the pain of the others BUT BE strong, like a rock, in the face of situations which hurt us , such is not my saying but the saying of Lord Krishna in the Gita. यस्मान्नोद्विजते लोको लोकान्नोद्विजते च य: | (Gita 12.15) Plus imo you should stop saying the phrase ‘spiritual people’, because people are just people.
Also please read this commentary on the Bhagvad Gita https://arshaavinash.in/index.php/download/bhagavad-gita-swami-paramarthananda/
it will give you solace as the Swami is pretty chill yet expert guy and I would say start from reading verse 12.15. His commentary there will definitely get across what im trying to say here in rushed typing because i have to study for my exam.
Oh, my dear Sarthak, I’m sorry to hear this. I’m so sorry that happened to you. And look at how kind your heart is, beta, that you took the time to send me such loving encouraging words. I am so touched. Thank you! I pray Bhagwan’s love and blessings take you exactly where you want to go in this life. May it be a beautiful and meaningful one, with His Grace. Keep studying hard and smiling, all the best for your exams. Om Swami ji ki Jai!
Dear Sushree Diyaji,
Jai Shree Hari. Reading the latest post has been educating, yet disturbing. Lots of learnings for us. We are sure that with Swamiji’s grace, you are climbing the Everest sure footedly and also holding the hands of the weak, like us, who fumble and stumble.
With profound regards
Sidhu family
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
no mother no. you have to read the commentary otherwise i wont be satisfied.
* a child forces his mother to read his book *
Also, I know many people deal with their problems by writing and i to do it regularly as well. Maybe one day i have a blog like you as well. But even though i calll you Di i have always thought of you like a mother even before i camee to know yoou are actually the mother of two sons. But mother in reality you have three, and you know what a son would do when he reads this. you have not only Swamiji but otherrrs as well who care just as deeply for you. Who are aalways near(say Chandigarh to be precise) , even a call/email away and who are not tolerant like Swamiji or you.
Hello Diya ji, I would like to share my story here, In my postgrad college , there was a sponsored candidate (payment seat) who would make uncomfortable gestures, remarks even took a photo while I was in lab .When i would turn around every one would start to act as if nothing ever happened. This continued for 2 years. I used to think , if I say anything people will outcast me, my friends made me believe this is normal flirting. It took me many years, and i confronted that person on our college WhatsApp groups after my marriage.My husband here helped me to speak for myself and not let people walk over me. Trust me that taking a stand for myself helped to cutoff all the weeds from my life. Lechers never change and if we don’t confront them they’ll continue to act. It is said that the women folks are too patriarchal specially in India. My heart goes out to you Diya ji , Maa kali always takes a stand for herself and others, she doesn’t want us to bow down to evil but to confront. Diya ji, Maa wants you to be strong , next time you don’t feel okay, just tell that person ” we are not that close”/ ” this is not appropriate”, / ” you should not talk to me like this”, ,” you better apologize”. Learn to set boundaries dear, as Swamiji says , if you don’t like something or don’t want to do something, say No. When we allow to disrespect ourselves we are causing pain to ShriHari who reside in us. Telling the other person, is meant to set boundaries, they are predators not divine beings. May Maa kali gives all the more courage to the women folks. Jai ShriHari Diya ji. I love you 😘
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Swami Ji is with you and so are we! Consider yourself the mother of four now, me and Sarthak included. And no one has the right to disrespect our Mother. My blood boils thinking about that man and all the people who have ever hurt you in the past. But I know you are kind and forgiving and you have let go of your past. And it’s not my place to say all this. However I am not yet evolved to your level, and am overcome with emotion, specially today after knowing about this incident. I love you always! 🤗
Niveta di three is enough. You can be the adopted one * lol *
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Dear Sushree Diya ji, 🙏🏻🌷💕
I find all your post so inspiring and thought provoking 💖
We all are super blessed to to be under “HIS” divine Umbrella 😇.
Your nature of forgiving inspires me the most🙏🏻
I am so thankful to you for sharing your life experiences with us all🙏🏻💕🌷
Warm regards
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Jai Sri Hari, Sushree Diya. I am really sorry you had to go through all these challenges. Honestly, I feel more sorry for that person than for you. You came out of that experience shining like a diamond. You found the courage to write about it because standing up to wrongdoing at HOME is the toughest.
Swamiji is a flame of the purest energy manifested in this universe. If you can make even 1% attempt to fix your tendencies, he does the remaining 99%. Sri Hari is the beautiful Lord Vishnu whose mere glance can set you up on the path. Yet we have such hardened tendencies that we act on them as if we are automatons, even in an environment as pure as the ashram. You can only pity such a person. Nature never forgets, and we all pay the cost for our actions.
Keep smiling and keep writing Sushreeji.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Hugs and hugs.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
You are, undoubtedly, one of the strongest people I know. Not saying this to flatter you, but everything about you inspires me, Diyaji, from day one. You exhibit a certain kind of humility which is very rare. Thank you for being wonderful and kind. Swamiji ki jai! ❤️ Jai Sri Hari. ❤️
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
I am sad and happy to read this post. Sad because you had to go through all this on the spiritual path too and happy that my intuition and vibes are still working fine. I want to share how I felt. Till date your hug is the warmest hug I have ever received, other than Geet’s. But one day I saw you walking in the dining hall, doing full dandwat pranam to few people there and they so conveniently chose to ignore your presence, as if you were invisible, and continued talking among themselves. You got up, took your food from a side table and went away. I don’t know but that time I felt things are not right in ashram and the teachings of our Guru are not making much difference to so called other enlightened soul HE has initiated into higher positions. I had read somewhere -ashrams in India are breeding ground for negativity. I never knew that this thing might be also true for our Guruji’s ashram too.
What I witnessed that day, wrt you, I felt sad for you and wanted to tell you that we should only bow down to our guru and ishta in that way but kept quiet. May you get more strength and empower other women too to see their worth.
I am sorry if this comment was not apt.
May Swamiji keep us all under HIS guidance and show path to us, specially to me now. Much needed at this stage of life.
Thanks for sharing this important post.
Love you Sushreeji. From the moment I set eyes on you I knew you were special. Too special for words. Stay strong and safe. You have Swamiji’s protection now and forever. My interactions with you have always been divine and I look forward to many more.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
I’m disturbed though hearing this. But you have given strict instructions not to say anything. Why do people like you have to go through so much. Heart is heavy.
Hello, Di ( if that is ok with you ) or Madam,
This is the first time that I have read your post. Di I love you. I don’t know what else to say or how else to convey my feelings. Thank you for this writing this, love you once again di.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Maa, i am shocked. Such things happened at ashram😕. My learning from this post is to be like a sweet orange from the inside. Thank you so much for always guiding. I feel immensely greatful that i know you and i have done some kirtans with you. You all are celebrities for me of my own universe. Like the avengers 😅. I have been blessed enough to be in your company so many times. Charansparsh❤️
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Humble obeisance Diya ji. Little shocked that place of happening is Ashram. No body else I know is as strong as you. I don’t know if we have Runanubandha with people from past lives that we keep on encountering till scores are even . One thing is there in his divine grace all will be well. But these all is disturbing to hear to say the least.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Maa I’m so sorry that such things happened to you but you always come out of these problems becoming better and not bitter. I bow down to you as you are still spreading happiness and compassion towards everyone. You are a true disciple of Swamiji. I know you’re very tolerant and kind but sometimes that can become a weakness too. Maybe Swamiji is counting that man’s mistakes just like Sri Krishna did with Shishupala. May Sri Hari give that man some sense.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Pranam Diyaji, Wonderful but painful at the same time…….Stay Blessed!!
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Much respect Sushree Diya ji! Count me in your corner any day. Lots of love 💕
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Dear Sushree Diya ji, that was quite a story! I am sorry to hear this has taken a toll on your emotions for such a long time. Glad, you let it all go… To be honest, such is the man’s world. We live in Kali yug, and it’s a given that most men look at a woman as an object of attraction. Mostly, sexual. Only some will keep this to themselves, while others will blurb it out, with or without a motive behind it. It does not matter, whether a woman is single, married, brahmacharini, sannyasini… All this is irrelevant.
When you think about it, even most forms of the Mother Goddess we see in temples are portrayed as extremely beautiful, sensuous, enchanting and captivating. Their curvaceous figures are, no doubt, very alluring and desirable for many. That’s why, from the stories we read, even gods have not been able to resist them. Jai Mata ki!
As a rule of thumb, most women want to be loved & desired. Therefore, they dress a certain way, walk a certain way and talk a certain way, whether they do it consciously or unconsciously. When they are not noticed & appreciated, they are not happy. When they are, but not within a female vernacular:) & projection, this is a problem, too. I think, most men today are confused, what is appropriate and what is not. But the fact remains, that once a woman has communicated that she does not feel comfortable with these kind of remarks, and she does not feel these are appropriate, given her ‘stage’/ ‘asrama’ in life & the setting (obviously!), this should all end then and there. The other person should have the courage to apologize for making her feel uncomfortable, and move on with life… in peace (& hopefully, reflection). But to retaliate?!?! That’s absolutely unacceptable and is definitely outside the spirit of Sri Hari’s valley. 🙏🏻🌟💖
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
My Dearest Suhree Diya Ji,
I was very disturbed reading your post and could not stop thinking about it all night. I was molested by my father’s so called Guru in my childhood and it took me years to trust a man again and develop faith in a Guru inspite of my logical mind trying to remind me of my past. The only question I have in my mind is that if so many women are uncomfortable and its causing so much distress, then why has he not be asked to leave the organisation?
I wanted to visit the ashram for the first time next year when I go home but now I am in two minds. You are the most kind, respectful and loving person that I have met through Swamiji’s grace. I am so sorry that you had to go through this kind of bullying.
Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Dear Shivani ji, that’s awful. I can only imagine how confusing and traumatising that would be. I pray for your healing and peace if you haven’t already dealt with it. The situation is complicated. I have faith in Swami ji and the truth. I leave it in His hands. Sending you the biggest, loving hug. Jai Sri Hari!
Also, Shivani ji. Please don’t let this stop you from having Sri Hari Bhagwan’s darshan at the ashram. I know everything this is happening is Sri Hari’s will. It’s all happening for a reason. It’s for the good of all of us. I will see you there one day, with His Grace 🙂 Jai Sri Hari!
Jai Sri Hari Diya ji, when i saw the notification last night I thought it must be something solely about Mother Divine and your experience. But after reading it, i’m shocked and speechless. I’m sorry that you had to go through this ;(.
You know yesternight I was telling my friend if this world was a little more accepting and kind towards women, things would’ve been a lot more different. Objectifying women is the most easiest thing people do at our homes and outside, worst part is that they don’t even realise what they’ve said was incorrect. Whenever there is a situation and I’m at loggerheads with my sibling the very first thing he does is giving me names (intentionally or unintentionally doesn’t matter) and I wonder how can one feel near to okay after doing this. If we are facing it for many years, it robs off our confidence in ourselves and also makes us believe that we must’ve done something wrong. But slowly I’ve understood that it has nothing to do with me but the person and their conditioning (even if they are struggling).
Maybe that’s why when I saw Baba for the first time it just felt I’m home, the way He looks with so much compassion and never ever I’ve felt that much protected yet loved.
You are beautiful, full of love and kindness, I felt it when I saw you (even when i didn’t know much about your journey). Sending you so much love and deepest regards Diya ji. You are brave 🙂 ❤️.
Beauty is the innate quality of a person. If you get attracted to someone for their beauty, that’s more natural than getting attracted by the possessions of that person i.e money, which women do all the time. They marry a guy for his money/earning capability and rarely his personality. Hence i could even argue women and society objectify men far more.
Also you said society isn’t kind to women ? What are you even talking about ? A girl cries, many people will ask – O why are you crying ? What has happened ? and try to pacify her. A man cries- people laugh at him. Get up. You are a man. etc etc. But men rarely cry – O life is not fair. It is women who play the victim. Every person on the planet goes through difficulty ( regardless of their gender) but women want to wrap it as a gender issue rather than toughening up. ( I am not here to fight you but I actually like to have healthy debates, you alwways gain some knowledge when you debate about things in a civilized way, so don’t think i’m out here trying to create a rucus. I am just tireed of reading women who keep blaming society. )
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Jai Sri Hari Divya ji 🙏I am shocked and it’s very disturbing and disappointed as I thought in this whole world if there is a safe place it’s Badrika Adhram sorry to hear that you have been so affected and I always think how strong you are in spite of so much suffering I agree with Aditi jib’s comment why did the organisation didn’t take action
Lots of love and respect Divya ji ❤️❤️
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Sorry it’s not Aditi ji Its Shivani ji comment that I agree
atha kena prayukto ’yaṁ pāpaṁ charati pūruṣhaḥ
anichchhann api vārṣhṇeya balād iva niyojitaḥ
Arjun asked: Why is a person impelled to commit sinful acts, even unwillingly, as if by force, O descendent of Vrishni (Krishna)?
śhrī bhagavān uvācha
kāma eṣha krodha eṣha rajo-guṇa-samudbhavaḥ
mahāśhano mahā-pāpmā viddhyenam iha vairiṇam
The Supreme Lord said: It is lust alone, which is born of contact with the mode of passion and later transformed into anger. Know this as the sinful, all-devouring enemy in the world.
dhūmenāvriyate vahnir yathādarśho malena cha
yatholbenāvṛito garbhas tathā tenedam āvṛitam
Just as a fire is covered by smoke, a mirror is masked by dust, and an embryo is concealed by the womb, similarly, one’s knowledge gets shrouded by desire.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Dear Sushree ji,
You have bravely written a post here.
Some egoist would have added on to your problems or maybe.. might have apologized and decided to mend the ways. Who knows?
Wanted to check on you, dear Sushree ji. 🙏
Hope everything is alright.
Writing a post on this issue needs a daring person! You have nothing to lose and I really loved your courage.
❣️🌹🙏
Take this 🫂 hug! ❣️
I’m absolutely fine, Suguna ji. In His bliss. Thank You 🤗❤️ Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼
Desr Sushree ji, so many emotions running in my head after reading this! I am sorry to know you had such tough time even after embracing monk hood. But you emerging stronger than ever is something to learn from.
As for your singing devotional songs as you did litter collection will stay with me. During my visit it was one of the memorable time doing kirtan with you all, only because you practiced it earlier could we enjoy so much!
And as for your learning new art in so many fields is something again to be inspired by😍
May your path now be only peaceful where you can undisturbed sing Bhagwans glories. Jai Sri Hari🙏❣
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Pranam Suahree ji! Lots and lots of love ❤.
This post is heartbreaking but also inspiring! May you have only peaceful life ahead immersed in singing Bhagwans glories❣🙏
Jai Sri Hari! 🤗🙏🏼❤️
Oh! It was posted😍🙏
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Hey Sarthak ji,
I hope you are doing well. If you felt my intention was to belittle or negate men’s struggle then I’m sorry. I understand what you are saying and it is true to some extent. If we were to give examples of each cases we can go on and on about it rather than finding a common ground. Acceptance helps in changing things. Yes, Men and women both are objectified, they both face trauma, societal pressure etc.
But here’s my question, does saying things out loud about what wrong has been done to someone make that person a mere victim? If I were just cribbing and not doing anything about my situation then i could’ve accepted this victimhood title but I’m doing what I can. And perhaps most of us are.
I get your tiredness because each story has two sides but to say that because some people (women/men) are using this as their shield and getting benefitted so don’t talk about your individual struggle isn’t fair? Does kindness just mean you are allowed to cry?
I know what these stereotype does to one and how they impact like when I was a kid even i wasn’t allowed to cry, so every individual’s journey is different. And everyone’s struggles are relative as well. You might find all these stories as echo chamber but coming out and telling your story needs a certain amount of courage and acceptance. It’s not for the world but for our peace. I also thought what’s the point in telling all this, but in past years I’ve understood that it really helps in self healing. Slowly we evolve and mend our ways, I hope someday you’ll find a common ground :).
Diya Didi. It is me Nalin Om. The one who learns and is forever inspired by you. I keep mentioning you as and when I get to speak, for the things I learn from you. I feel so blessed to be in touch with and elderly sister-like monk disciple of our most amazing Om Swami Maharaj. When I saw your Wildr post of you washing the feet of your Parents, I cried. I, we all love you and just want you to know that you’re always there in a precious corner of our heart. For the last 3 months, I did not read your posts or any blogs of anyone. I was willing to start again, but maybe the right time for everything. I have got a new job and I am doing well. I have improved even further and despite troubles I live happily or shoo away them. With His Grace, we are growing Didi. When I see your BLack lotus streak, I feel this is the kind of dedication I should have. I need your blessings for this and to be the kindest, happiest person in the room. Do you know I changed my username on Instagram to thehappiestman_on_earth for now this is what I want to be and remain. When we are happy can we make other’s. People are troubled and you know Didi how I forgive people now? I say if this person had been able to learn to act better he would, just like I make mistakes despite being aware similarly they all out there are doing what they know best. Some of us however do try to unlearn and learn what is necessary. I too, after lot of fight with my life have accepted it in a manner which you also said that your life is not about you anymore. I dawned on the same understanding. I really love you and I wish I could see you and talk to you more frequently but your posts are themselves an intimate talk and so are our replies in your loving regards.
You foolish Bhai who Loves You and always bows to you in his heart
Nalin Om
I’m so proud of you, Nalin. May Swami ji’s Grace and Love keep guiding you. Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Love You a Ton Didi💕
प्रणाम सुश्री जी💐💐🙏
आप के साहस और करुणा भरे स्वभाव को नमन💐💐🙇 सच में मेरे पास शब्द नहीं है की आप को क्या कहूँ! आप बस आगे बढ़ते जाइये माँ से यही प्रार्थना है, आप स्वतः ही उस दिव्य हृदय की धारिणी है जो संतो के पास ही होता है। “क्षमा वीरस्य भूषणम” क्षमा वीरों का आभूषण है, आप वीरांगना है सुश्री जी इस तरह कठिन जीवन की राह पार करने के बाद आप के हृदय से सब के लिए करुणा ही निकल रही है अब क्या ही शेष है! कौन आप का कुछ अहित करेगा ? आप को शत-शत बार नमन सुश्री जी🙇🙇
अपना ध्यान रखें💐💐💐🕉️🕉️🙇
जय श्री हरि! 🙏🏼❤️
Pranam sushree.ji 💐💐🙏
Salute to your courage and compassionate nature 💐💐🙇 Seriously I don’t have words what to say to you! You just keep moving forward, this is my request to mother ⚛️ you automatically have that divine heart which only saints have. “Kshama Veerasya Bhushanam” .
after crossing the path of such a difficult life, compassion for everyone is coming out of your heart, what is left now! Hundreds of salutations to you shushree ji🙇🙇
take care of yourself💐💐💐🕉️🕉️🙇
जय श्री हरि! 🙏🏼❤️
Jai Sri Hari 🙏
Swamiji is truly amazing, giving us strength and courage to stand up for ourselves. Every negative situation only makes us stronger for us to speak up and humbly deal with the matter. Reading this post has really inspired me, I’m sorry that you had to go through what you did….but this gave you the strength to speak your truth 🙏
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
In general, men (and women) are intimidated by erudite women, for they can’t be’made to’conform.’ Period.’ Brave of you to speak up, Diayaji! Shocked and sorry that you had to go through repeated harrowing experiences- some of your toughest challenges at unexpected quarters! In my youth, I wasn’t aware of harassment till someone made repeated passes at me at work leaving me in a cold, sweaty space of intimidation. I soon learnt to speak ‘the language’ and give it back- uncensored and live! I protected myself, thus. I still hurl out expletives but now i can count it down to 1-4 times a month. On voluntary service- I was trained by The Art Of Living to reach out and serve. For any ‘seva’ to be meaningful, Sri Sri RaviShankar Ji , urged us all to give ‘space’ in volunteering. We have to stand tall and do what must be done in its integrity. Few women and men will come out, to voice , to support- but we are never alone. Be Brave, lovely Sushreeji. Immense respect.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Dear Sushreeji,
We tend to believe and show trust in people a little early thinking they are on the path of self discovery . This happened with me when I visited an ashram in Hrishikesh and shared my number with a sadhu who appeared to be well read and englightenend.
He said that he will teach me tatvabodha which he did on phone but most of the time when he was not teaching talks would move towards sexuality .
It was unbelievable for me that someone who is a monk talks like this. I first ignored it but they became constant and I then had to let go and stopped talking to him. It was disheartening to stop talking to him as I really liked his talks of tatvabodha.I made him clear that I am married and I have interest in these kind of talks.
I also wondered how somebody who left his home at age of 19 and is now in his 40s is like this . Where is God ? Why? Why can’t he see that it’s not right or am I wrong ? Is my thinking wrong ?
His teaching no doubt was beautiful but I don’t know why this sexual aspect was there to his personality. It’s quite strange to be honest.
Also, constantly being hurt has made me a loner .i generally try to stay away from crowd and just stay being with myself in own ashram as well.
When first time I met you I was so happy to meet you. You made me feel safe and loved and I don’t think you even realised this. I shared your sweetness with a fellow devotee who also had come for the first time.
That time you use to sing in the temple as well with your manjiras 🙂
As per her she found you doubtful because being this sweet is not that possible but I didn’t believe her.i found little of myself in you.
It also made me think that this world never never let you be no matter how selflessly giving you become .
Swamiji himself is the kindest soul. He is an epitome of forgiveness and compassion ,how hurt he would have been seeing people living in his ashram making women feel like that .
I am glad you now have a voice and this will scare him a little and I wish you so much strength.Hope shri Hari takes care of you beautifully and protect you 💕
Also, I have tried to donate few times but since it’s a foreign account my card doesn’t allow it. Is there a possibility that you put your Indian account also for donation ?
Dear Anamika ji, It’s alarming you had such an experience with a sadhu. I understand more and more why, in India especially, monks are not always seen in a pure way. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but so, so happy it brought you to Swami ji!
And thank you for even considering to donate. It should accept payments from all countries. You just have to select India from the dropdown menu. But if it still doesn’t work, please don’t worry about it. Be happy, be kind. That’s all I would love to have. God bless you! Jai Sri Hari!
Thank you for your sharing and your honesty dear Diya ji. I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences and yet a part of me is not surprised. We understandably like to think that “spiritual” people and places are absent from such a behavior but those same gunas envelope everything. The shock and the disappointment is just heavier when this abuse happens in a safe and pure environment such as an ashram or a yoga school.
I’ve witnessed similar behavior in the yoga world a lot. Also in South Indian patriarchal traditions. I thought I was already at peace with my past experiences but during the Navdurga sadhana when I saw Sadhviji doing the abhishekam – a woman doing a puja! – a dam opened and the river of tears gushed out. (Thank you Swamiji!) So much collective pain… But it was extremely healing and so beautiful. Both Sadhviji and Sri Hari. Those tender and caring strokes and the gentle pouring of offerings were felt and hope for a better future arose.
Those tears were not just mine, they belonged to all the beings who have been abused and mistreated.
There is a big demand for collective healing and you seem to be one of the beautiful tools of Divine – thank you for your voice, for speaking up and living out your own truth.
Jai Shri Hari!
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Sushree Diya ji. I can understand, as a female, to be able to come to this point and write about this experience is in itself an act of courage but hiding your perpetrator’s identity, give them power over you. I can understand by this post that this man holds a position of power in the ashram but as a female who’s experienced this, I can tell you that you’re not alone. He must be doing this to other females as well. Such people need to to identified and humiliated in public…
I am being very hard, I know. A young girl at the office also shared a similar experience and she hid the man’s identity as well. I probed and I saw the fear in her eyes. The only power these perpetrators hold over us (females) is fear. We give them the power to overpower us.
Tell me what I can do for you Sushreeji. This is very disturbing to know that this is happening inside the ashram walls.
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Its disheartening to know what all you went through.Men try to take advantage thinking the lady is weak but in truth we are Maa kali when need arises .Thankyou for this post .May maa kali give you strength and wisdom to fight for your rights and justice be done with you 🙏🏻…
Lots of luv and regards
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Dear Sushree Diya ji,
You have been in my thoughts th past few months because I haven’t been able to comment on your posts. Or indicate to you that I have read them 😞. This post has disturbed me deeply because it has happened in my corner of heaven and it’s not easy to know that even people in heaven are tested.
Just a little caution. The man is not going to take this lying down. He knows, whether other people have caught on to who this is or not. Someone at Ashram will mention this article innocently to him. And then all hell will break loose. There might be unexpected consequences. Just be prepared.
Lots of love and strength to you,
Swamiji be with us always 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Thank you, Anitha ji. And it’s okay. It doesn’t matter. As long as I remain truthful and compassionate, Bhagwan will do what’s best for everyone. I’m not scared anymore 🙂 Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼❤️
Is it possible to create a cell in the organization to handle complaints, especially against those in power? Jai Sri Hari.
Dear Raman ji, there was a blurred line back then between decision makers and complaint handlers. It’s one of the reasons why the situation is complicated. Thank you dear Raman ji. Jai Sri Hari!
Pranaam Mata ji. 🙏 I hope everything works out. Take care. Om Swamiji ki jai. 🙏
Dearest Sushriji, a big tight loving hug for you! You have been my inspiration from the day I met you. I didn’t know your story then, but I knew you are different. The nobility and dignity with which you carry yourself is what I try to emulate . Now, after knowing your story, my respect for you is sky-high. The interactions i have had with you over the years have given me the strength to always speak my truth, my heartfelt gratitude. Your light is bright and pure, like a beacon for seekers like me. Loads and loads of love and hugs.
My beautiful child of Bhagwan! Charu ji, you are such an inspiration. I have learned so much from your devotion. It melted my heart as it no doubt melted Swami ji’s. Stay blessed and happy, with His Grace. Jai Sri Hari!
Dearest Sushriji,
Twice took to pen down my thoughts, just couldn’t gather right words. Reason we all as women have faced these kind of situations. Corporate world is full of such incidents and silences that follows to save the job, have been there. Person who does this is on authority, and seldom such authority is seized. Can feel you , reminiscing the time when u where in silence, picking thrash and me in ashram yet didn’t know what you were going through. Swamiji has his ways, am sure HIS GRACE is ultimate above all these situations just to get one right on the path without any thrash. May HIS GRACE be the only torch to burn the karmas and sail through to the final goal. Jai Shri Hari
loads of Love … Hugs for a brilliant woman whom am adoring to the core.
Jyoti om
Dear Jyoti ji, Thank you for the love and support. Hugs right back at you. May His Grace truly carry us all through. Om Swami ji ki Jai! Jai Sr Hari!
Dear Sushree Diya Om ji,
One conclusion which I can draw beyond doubt is you are a very brave soul with a kindest possible heart. The only thing which I am not able to digest is this incident happened in Sri Hari’s own place. May be some type of test (even Sita Mata had to go through AGNI PARIKSHYA). A person indulging in such kind of activity is far from being spiritually evolved as he has not been able to transcend his gender evolution. You look divine in your white saree. Why should you compromise your life, your choices, your freedom for somebody else who does not even deserve an iota of it? You are the few lucky ones who have changed the course of their lives a full 180 degrees. I can understand the amount of effort you have put in to achieve the feat. And trust me, clearing litter is the order of the day and you are doing the right job of cleansing things and people as well! Sending you lots of thought energy and support. Please accept my obeisance. Swamiji knows everything and will definitely take corrective action.
Jai Shri Hari
With regards – Sanghamitra, Biswa, Sahil and Samil
Diya ji 🙏.
Must share with you the fact that I have been seeking for many, many years now. Seeking God, seeking the truth – whatever one would call it. Met many spiritual guides on the way but never got the answers I was looking for. Now after I have had the immense good fortune of having met with and having been initiated by Gurudev strangely I have no questions left.
I know for a fact that our Guru will always walk by our side no matter what. Suddenly self realisation does not seem an all encompassing goal now. It seems to be pore important to cultivate the virtues – compassion, truth and kindness.
When you write about his his exemplary conduct, humility, and respect towards women I feel so much of pride – the pride a mother feels towards her child 🥰. I see him as my Guru first but also as my mother, father and child.
I may never know him as well as many of his disciples but I truly treasure all that you write about him as these are first hand accounts and hence very, very valuable.
You are a truly amazing woman! I know for a fact that not only will you keep walking the path despite challenges, you will also help and inspire many to walk the path.
Much love and strength to you 🥰.
Sowmya Om
Dearest Sowmya ji, if you see Him in that way, then you know everything there is to know about Him 🧡🙂 May His always keep you close, feeling loved and protected. Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼
For some reason I am missing Gurudev a lot today. This too shall pass 🥰.
It’s okay to, Sowmya ji. Use that feeling to go deep and call out to Him with Love. He will respond in His own way. It’s so beautiful! Jai Sri Hari! 🙏🏼
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