2011
“She’s inhumane. How can a mother leave her children?” As I hear the words, I know this is it. This is the moment. All eyes are on me now. Sitting before this panel of judges at the Royal Courts of Justice in London, I allow only a single tear to escape me. I don’t blink. I cannot move.
I sit as still as a corpse, but within, I am being burned alive, incinerated, turned to ash. Although I don’t look over, I can feel the heads of my opposition on the other side of the courtroom turn towards me. Maanav and Maya, clad in their dark power-suits, have won.
It’s been a tiring, almost decade-long, joust that ends with my 13-year-old and 10-year-old sons telling the court officer they don’t want to see me, because, according to them, I’m inhumane. I haven’t seen Jai for years and Veer for months. Their exact words are quoted back to me by the judge: “She’s inhumane. How can a mother leave her children?”
I’ve been reduced from being their mother, the woman who created and nurtured them in her own body, who birthed and fed them from her own body, who loved them and cared for them every second of their early lives, to not even worthy of being graded as a human being.
What am I then? An animal? Some kind of critter?
Where have my children learned to think like this?
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I’m sorry, I cannot write more than this today. I need a little more time to process it. I know I will be absolutely alright once it’s all out.
Each time I write a chapter, I read it over and over again until it no longer causes any emotion in me other than acceptance and gratitude.
With Swami ji’s Grace, I always heal from it completely and feel lighter and stronger.
Thank you to all of you for your love, patience and kindness. Thank you for being a part of my healing journey.
May our shared experiences be healing for us all 🙏🏼🧡
Thank You to Swami ji for everything 🙏🏼🧡🙇🏻♀️